She was already in her nightclothes when she heard the knock at the door. When she opened it, she was surprised to see Jeremy and two of his buddies standing there. The three gentlemen entered her room and the four of them shared brief, but very awkward small talk. It was late, so Lily didn’t expect them to stay long. A few moments later, the three guys left her room and stood outside the door, talking. Within seconds, Jeremy reentered the room, sporting a wily grin. Eyeballing Lily, he sat opposite her on the small, single bed. They chatted, making an attempt to “get to know each other,” Lily said. But Jeremy kept inching toward her. Then he started kissing her. Before she knew it, Jeremy had wrapped himself all around her and was passionately kissing her. Lily shoved him off of her, saying, “I don’t think this is the right time. It’s pretty late and I’m getting ready to go to bed.” But that didn’t stop Jeremy. He quietly got up, turned off the lights, and then came back to the bed where she was still sitting, petrified and not able to scream. And then he raped her, confessed Lily L. Ratliff about that dreadful night almost 17 years ago. Now 34, Lily, a middle-school English teacher, shares that date-rape story in her newly released memoir entitled The Life of a Lily (Tate Publishing & Enterprises, April 2008). A mere 124 pages long, Lily’s book takes readers on a journey through a past riddled with disappointment, abuse, and abandonment issues to a future blooming with more happiness and possibilities than she could have ever imagined. Her book only tacitly refers to the rape because her publishers were concerned about the content being too harsh or seedy, she said. But in a recent interview, Lily opened up about the incident. Now she is eager to share her story about the rape—as well as other issues she’s faced and conquered with God's help—in hopes of preventing what happened to her from happening to other young women. Lily admits that her rape probably would never have happened if she hadn’t permitted Jeremy (a fictitious name Lily uses to describe her assailant) to visit her room that late at night. After all, she was a Christian and “(she) was not raised to sleep around.” But in all honesty, Lily confided, “I didn’t think it was going to go any further than talking and getting to know each other better.” That’s a mistake made by many college girls, she said, especially those who suffer from low self esteem and long for attention and affection—like she once did. "Because I liked him, I didn’t want him to feel like I didn’t like him or didn’t want to be with him,” Lily recalled. “But I was very afraid and very scared.” So she yielded, instead of fighting. The entire ordeal lasted about 20 minutes, she said. And when Jeremy was “finished,” he got dressed, kissed her on the forehead, and then walked out of her room. Lily said she followed him out the door, only to hear the jeering and snickering of her suitemates and the other students lingering about in the hallway. By the next morning, the news had spread all over the dorm. “It scared me and really humiliated me. I didn’t want to show my face anywhere to anybody,” she said. “I felt like most rape victims feel: ‘Oh, it was me. I allowed it to happen’ and so on.” When she reported the incident to the authorities at school, Jeremy was barred from the campus for a period of two years, she said. But the damage had already been done to her reputation, her psyche, and her spirit. She became “the laughing stock of the whole black student body.” “All I could do was cry,” Lily writes in her book. “I sought counseling, but depression nearly ate me alive.” After a month of missing classes, hiding, moping, and praying, Lily felt the Holy Spirit coaxing her back to her senses. So she finally opened up to someone about what had happened to her and people slowly began to embrace her, forgetting the scourge on her name and welcoming her back into the fold. “It wasn’t my fault,” she said. “I’ve forgiven him and moved on.” Today, Lily says her life has been transformed. She is an author, speaker, educator, and entrepreneur. She is also the mother of a healthy and beautiful four-year-old daughter. Lily says her strength to pull through that dark time in her life came from her faith in God. When advising other young women about how to protect themselves in similar situations, Lily gives some obvious pointers: stay in groups…never go anywhere or do anything alone; don’t entertain male visitors after hours. But, most importantly, she said, they need to “stay focused on God and what you are here for. You are here for a purpose.” Whether they are committed by people known to the victims (called “acquaintance” or “date rape”) or by strangers, rapes are still a factor on college campuses across the nation today. Last year, 20% to 25% of women in college reported experiencing an attempted or a completed rape in college. In 2006, there were 506 forcible rapes reported to law enforcement by women on college campuses. But most go unreported, according to statistics. For more information about Lily L. Ratliff or her book, The Life of a Lily, please visit www.thelifeofalily.com or e-mail Lily at lily.ratliff@thelifeofalily.com. If you suspect that you are the victim of crime, please immediately report it to the proper authorities. Copyright © 2008 By Genikwa R. Williams SOURCES: Dated reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Spring 2008 Dated taken from report of “Offenses Known to Law Enforcement by State by University and College, 2006,”the U.S. Department of Justice, Federal Bureau of Investigation Criminal Justice Information Services Division Office for Victims of Crime, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice ### GENIKWA R. WILLIAMS, a Christian freelance writer, is a publicist with Ministry Marketing Solutions, Inc. (www.ministrymarketingsolutions.com) and owner of Jordan Media Group, a budding ministry PR and marketing communications firm. She is also lead writer and creator of Everyday Repartee, a Christian devotional blog with “not-so-idle chitchat about everything under the sun and above it” (www.genikwawilliams.wordpress.com). Contact Information: E-mail ~ BeAll4Him@yahoo.com Address: P.O. Box 305, Willingboro, NJ 08046  Phone: 609-216-0268